This is the head of Ian Richard Williams.
Now, to be perfectly honest, some of the stuff that goes on inside of here is a bit dodgy. That being said, probably no more dodgy than the stuff that goes on inside your head.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you’re a pervert or anything. You seem like a perfectly lovely person, even though I haven’t ever met you. But in my imagination, you seem genuinely lovely. And I’ve always considered myself to be an excellent judge of character, especially when it comes to imaginary people.
Okay, perhaps that was a bit of a sweeping generalisation. Yes, there is a chance that some of the people reading this are perverts. But not you! No!!
I mean you, the one with the gormless, blank expression. You definitely look like a absolute nonce. You should be ashamed of yourself!
At least I’m being honest about the dodgy stuff. It’s not REALLY dodgy stuff. It’s not, you know, like…
Oh my God! You’ve made me think about it now! Stop making me think of these strange perverted thoughts! This is all your fault, you dastardly miscreant!
Anyway, other than the ‘Certificate 18’ dodgy stuff that originates within this cranium, there’s quite a bit of age-appropriate creative stuff that goes on too, including:
- Sketch writing (co-wrote, co-performed & co-produced the sketch show Alien Fudge for BBC Radio)
- Performance poetry (performing as AYM, won the first ever Hammer & Tongue & SlamIdol poetry slams, amongst others)
- Sitcom writing (have developed pilots for shows The Guild of the Forbidden Helmet & John Inverness)
- Screenplay writing (The Don is a completed 2.5 hour screenplay and The Mindpool is still in development)
- Satire (fake news satire website Vake News)
- Children’s fiction (75% way through writing the first book in a series called The Clownmaster Chronicles)
- Stage play writing (The Everyman Theologies & A Phoebe Waller-Bridge Shaped Hole In my Life are both works in progress)
- Stand-up (although didn’t have the patience, so gave up)
- Singest (front-man with the covers band Inner City Sumo)
This head does occasionally sleep, but not enough. And it’s dreams are all non-perverted.